A Journey of Fostering and Maintaining Your Sanity

I know it's been a very long while since my last blog. Needless to say life was happening faster than I could blog. As most know...I have been dreaming about the day I would be able to finally adopt. And we have finally made some leaps into that direction. After spending tons of time researching we decided that local state adoption would be the best choice for us. We were finally approved in January of 2012 after a long road of interviews and training. It was such a relief to sign that final mountain of paperwork but now we are stuck playing the waiting game. But thankfully our Gracious God has kept me pretty busy...right after signing off on our adoption paperwork we decided to try Emergency Fostering through our local shelter. We were getting placements left and right. They would stay anywhere from 2-10days. And we usually took 3 at a time (most were non siblings). By June I believe we had about 15 children come in and out of our home ages ranging from 4months-7yrs. Most were severely neglected and or special needs. I was feeling a bit exhausted but loving every minute of it. Let's face it I am a bit crazy. ;p These kids were my way of connecting to someone who was suffering in the world of abuse that I grew up in. I knew their pain and I knew that I could love them and help begin their healing process. We decided in May that after fostering two special needs kiddos for 3wks. while trying to finish up our homeschool year that we needed a break. So once those children were finally moved out of our home I had full intention on taking a long break. But then I got that call late at night and God reassured me that He would be there for me. So late in the evening I received 2 precious children (10yrs. and 14months). They fit like a missing puzzle piece into our family. My children instantly bonded to them and vise versa. We did have lots of trust issues and food hording we had to deal with but overall it was an amazing experience until recently our 10yr. was moved from our home to go live with relatives. That was hard. I sat for a long time in the parking lot as she drove away sobbing. Our plan was to set our age range for kids 7 and under so I was very hesitant to take a 10yr. old but I'm so glad eased my heart so I was able to call back and say "yes". I know that I was able to touch her life and that she was finally able to see what love is and watching my oldest disciple to her and have mini bible studies late at night in their room was so comforting that she would leave with this tiny seed planted in her heart. We still have baby boy and he is beyond amazing and precious. Sometimes I feel like I love him more than my heart will even allow. And even though I would do anything for him...this battle of trying to be his voice in this big messed up system we call DHS is more than overwhelming. We have great caseworkers but until laws and guidelines change it's all really irrelevant. The children of our state are not being protected by the current system. So do I throw in the towel and not deal with the stress? Those big blue eyes of his tell me "no". :) God has given me this baby and I will cherish him just like my other children. They are all His and I'm honored that this baby for whatever length of time is here with me and can curl up in my lap so I can read his favorite Good Night Moon story and he is safe here in my arms for the time being. I pray over him every night. He now clasps his chubby little hands together and as we say "AMEN" he nods his head in agreement. Planting that seed of faith is so important for these children who often grow up feeling so hopeless and lost. No greater security blanket then the Arms of Our Loving Father to wrap them up in. I am probably the worst spokesperson for fostering...lol...I just wished someone would have given me more of a heads up of how consuming it is...or maybe it's like having that first baby it doesn't matter how many times people tell you to "sleep now" you don't until it's too late and you have a screaming newborn at home. ;) Parent visits, all the court ordered therapy visits, court hearings, doctor visits. Every week my calendar is full with this schedule. And because I have this beautiful boy I will do it...I love him. I pray that he will get to be our forever child but I know that is a long shot right now. But if he does get moved I have already informed my caseworker I will be taking a break and refocusing on our adoption process. Whether we stay with the state or start looking international again. I know God already knows these answers so I've yet to spend much time stressing about it. I know in my heart we have another little one out there and we just need to keep our hearts open so we can find them. I am thankful and inspired by all my fostering friends. You guys have given me such strength and direction. And friends who are considering fostering or adoption and still would like to ask questions please feel free...if I don't know the answer

I probably have a friend who does.