The Repercussions of "I Do"

Oh, the joys of marriage! Bradley and I will soon celebrate 11yrs. of blissful and sometimes painstaking marriage. It at times feels like "forever" and than sometimes it seems like it was yesterday that we were moving into our 1st apartment. I think we have had more up's and down's than our non approving family could have imagined but yet somehow God has given us the strength to plow through. I feel like this image that some people put out there of marriages that are full of red roses and romantic getaways is a bar that is often set a little high for some of us that are stuck in the world of mortgages and dirty diapers. I do believe that we all are capable of a little more effort but sometimes when that special anniversary rolls around and you both are so tired from the daily grind of temper tantrums, endless laundry, and that stack of bills that never gets smaller your tastes of maybe a fancy dinner out on the down is replaced with putting the kids to bed early in hopes that your comfy pj.'s were the lucky ones to get washed that day so you can crawl in bed and watch a movie next to the guy that will inevitably fall asleep 1/2 way through but not before he rolls over and bluntly asks for a special anniversary favor. I do know that this phase in our lives will end and the fancy dinners will soon return but right now it's hard not to guilt yourself into wanting what others have even though the thought of spending a few hrs. in the bathroom with makeup and hair, trying to squeeze my now ''mother of 3 body" into something that is appropriate for a kids free evening, and then sitting through dinner worrying about how the kids are doing with a sitter does not at all seem appealing. I went to a marriage seminar not long ago and they said "you must'' make time to go out on these dates. But I think some of us mothers are just a bit different after we have children and the need to flee has left our body for a time being. The thought of a childless night seems all to pleasant until the moment comes down and then I realize that ugh...I just rather not. I did much better after my older two both hit the age of 2 so maybe things will change some once Olivia gets to that age. But right now my need for my kids is overpowering. And the weird thing is I think Bradley is pretty much on the same page. I've been blessed with a husband that has not complained once for putting the needs of our kids 1st even if meant he spent way too much time sleeping on the couch so the kids could cosleep with Mommy until they were about a yr. old. And the fact that I refused to be touched the whole time I spent breastfeeding 3 kids for 3yrs. (Note: we can applaud him but do remember it was I that nursed those babies for 3yrs...and it is I that wears the battle wounds from it! ha!ha!) He knew that it was in the best interest of our kids "at that time". Even though we disagree about many things when it comes to our kids we have pretty much been on the same page.
I think that getting married when you haven't had time to really be an adult has it positives and neg.'s. Bradley and I have watched either other grown. It has been a journey to say the least. He was with me when I battled my demons and now I sit with him as he battles some of his. It is learning to lean with that person. We have both failed miserably with each other and yet we have been able to move through it and stand stronger. I pray everyday that God will see us through. Life is not mapped out and who knows what else will come our way. Just trying to manage it all becomes a task in itself.
I have moments when I just pray to get through the day and I've had moments where Brad's voice in itself can be aggravating. But then I have times where I'm overwhelmed with love for him. And I would lay next to him at night and think how lucky I am that God has brought him into my life.... and then I wake up to the noise of 3 screaming kids and the smell of his "burnt'' scrambled eggs and as I try to collect myself and walk through my bedroom without tripping on all of his dirty clothes (I'm beginning to think the concept of clothes hamper is way to much for him to grasp) it is hard for me to say "I love this man! I love this man! I love this man!" But God knows I do and luckily so does Bradley. He knows and that gives me peace.
So know that your husband will get under your skin. No two people can live together everyday and not at some point irritate each other...it's human nature. Bradley just has it down to a fine art right now. ha!ha! But you come to a point to realize what is important and what is "livable". Example: I guess I can live with the fact that he will never clean a bathroom...or that I will always come very close to a heart attack when he's driving. And I'm sure that his examples would be that he can "live" with the fact that I will never load the dishwasher correctly or that I will still ask him to go to the store to buy those dreaded personal items that will lead to him calling me from "isle 6" to ask if I want wings or scented?!
I will end this in saying that I will do everything that I can to make sure my kids grow up in a LOVING two parent house. It has been hard and I know the battles are not over. I gave the commitment to God and to him and I honor that but not without falling short at times.

But for crying out loud Bradley if you read this Please know that the whole house can not be cleaned with a bottle of kitchen counter top cleaner....or can it? ;-)