Forgiveness

First of all thanks for all the wonderful support and kind words that have been expressed to me through this blog. It once again shows me the wonderful support system that God has given me. I want to share some about the wonderful evening I had in community group tonight...it was a discussion on forgiveness. I for the first time was able to say aloud that I am able to forgive all the men that have abused me in my life. I was able to actually say their names without cringing. And it is a beautiful thing to finally release it all. I let go of the anger awhile ago but was still struggling with the full forgiveness factor but now I can say that I'm finally there. Does it mean that I forget?...No. They are my memories that will always be there but it means I'm no longer the "victim"...that the bondage of shame and and resentment that I carried is set free and therefor I am free.
"My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,... for He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His Name."

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
—Colossians 3:12-13
Forgiveness is a powerful word. I can say Richard I forgive you for beating my mother, Doyle I forgive you for beating me and my siblings, Kent I forgive you for taking my mother away and leaving us 4 little children at home alone for days, Marcus for molesting me and my sisters for torchering us with your mind games of manipulation, I forgive you Rick for filling our lives with your addictions, I forgive you Randy for controlling us and belittling us in away that left us feeling so alone and inadequate, I forgive my father for the abandonment and lies, and I forgive my mother for feeling so lost and alone and for not helping herself so that she could help us.

Thank you to my church family for showing me another way to live and love. Thank you for showing me the true power of God's grace. It has healed my heart in a way that I never could have imagined. I pray that I someday can pay it forward and lead others struggling with the same shame and guilt to a place that will not just heal them but SAVE them. And Last I pray for anyone who has ever touched someone that they love in a way that has left them in pain. I pray that you see the power of your ways and the hurt that you will leave and I pray that you too will fill your life with God's love and know that you the "abuser" are also a child of God and you are also loved by Him.